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It’s finally 2022!!
And with 2021 and 2020 being crazy enough, let’s hope 2022 is a little more… shall we say normal? If we can even remember what that means.
Luckily for us, whether remote or in office, we can always count on kicking off the new year off with the same cliches and buzzwords that have powered this country for decades.
So we created a drinking game dedicated to the jargon and situations you’re bound to encounter in the first few weeks of 2022.
To clarify, are we suggesting drinking while on the clock?
Absolutely.
In fact, studies (and by studies I mean one study) has shown that a slight buzz at work can facilitate a divergent, diffuse mode of thought.
Need I say more?
So grab your mixers, some ice, and even a lime or two because it’s time for the 2022 Kickoff Drinking Game!
The rules are simple. Anytime you encounter the following cliche situations, jargon, or buzzwords, have a drink. We’ve even recommended a drink pairing for each!
Let’s be honest, does anyone REALLY know what any of these are? Blockchains? Decentralization? Virtual property? The last time my head hurt this much was the morning after the Zoom Holiday Party.
Which leads us to the reason why we’re here today. Anytime someone mentions the metaverse or Web3, take a drink of your Old Fashioned.
A true classic that will bring you back to the good ole days when Meta was still just an adjective.
And what would the start of 2022 be without the January kickoff meeting? A time of ambition and opportunity, where you get to set the road map for how you’ll dominate the year ahead. So highlight those KPIs, put the strategy in place, get your teams aligned, and pop that Dom Perignon so that we can kick off the new year stronger than ever!
Don’t worry about your New Year’s resolution, champagne is keto friendly!
Stay on the lookout for this classic scenario and have your drink at the ready. Odds are you’ll hear it first from the CEO, then the head of sales, maybe even the software engineer, and if you’re not already one of those people, you too will be swarmed with meetings and deadlines until April.
So enjoy those three days of bliss before caffeine becomes your lifeline. Our drink of choice for this scenario? Of course none other than the timeless Espresso Martini.
A perfect combination of caffeine and liquor to get you through all those meetings while keeping you cool during the inevitable fire drills.
Don’t get me wrong, we’re very grateful to have landed the new customer, but really?! They couldn’t have signed just a week earlier so that we’d meet our 2021 goal?
It was a Marketing lead too. Sorry Marketing!
We’re pairing this scenario with a Bittersweet Symphony.
All you need is gin, aperol, and some vermouth to really help you taste the bittersweet feeling that you’re bound to have.
Nothing like seeing that meeting you pushed back in December pop up on your calendar a month later to make you regret ever scheduling it to begin with.
Unless of course you have the perfect drink to power you through the monotony of the 30 minute meeting that will undoubtedly run late for absolutely no reason. And what goes better with regret than tequila?
Which brings us to the Paloma.
Advanced warning: consumption may lead to further regret.
Of course there’s always that one person who has to be better than everyone else. Perhaps they expect us to bow down and salute them for their noble strength… just until February comes around and their four day benders begin again. We haven’t forgotten what happened at the last company happy hour!
However, in their honor, every time you hear a humble brag about “Dryuary,” finish an entire cup of Water because staying hydrated is important too!
After all, it’s a marathon not a sprint.
Another humble brag being utilized for our drinking purposes.
Anytime someone mentions how they’re “working” remotely in the sunshine state, take a sip of a tangy Margarita.
Because if they get to enjoy the warm weather in Florida, you deserve a proper margarita at the least.
Despite all the kickoff meetings and KPIs and aligning of teams, I can promise you one thing: Murphy’s Law. Coined by the famed aerospace engineer, Edward Murphy, this scientific backed statement certifies that “whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.”
In other words, there will be a lot of pivoting, backpedaling, and scapegoating to be had as you try to explain away being behind schedule on your 2022 goals just a week into the year.
So what better drink to sip on while chaos ensues around you than a Cinnamon Vanilla White Russian?
Because if you’re going to mess up, mess up with class. And caffeine. Lots of it.
Send us a note with your use case: go@strata.cc
Copyright Strata 2022.